Chhotu Proves Indians To Be Barking Mad

Indian’s normally have a soft spot for dogs – one man married one – but this story is somewhat different -

This strange story sounds like it really ought to be a bizarre hoax, even though it is in fact quite true.

In India last week a dog named Chhotu was summoned to a court for allegedly breaching the peace.

The naughty canine had to employ a defence lawyer after neighbours reported that he was continually biting them.

CANINE BURGLAR DETERRENT

According to the dog’s owner, Rajkumari Devi, all of those neighbours that were allegedly bitten were actually burglars who were after her land deeds.

Rajkumari therefore maintains that Chhotu was merely protecting the family home.

This apparent waste of police and justice system resources comes at a time when the Indian police department have been accumulating some bad press over their handling of multiple bomb blasts across the country.

A police informant let slip that terrorists were seen as being too dangerous and, besides, police officers quite enjoyed running around the countryside with a squeaky plastic toy and a large net in an attempt to catch the errant dog.

A prominent member of Biharian law enforcement, who now wishes to remain anonymous, commented that Chhotu was their number one priority as he has been ‘a very bad dog’.

PRIOR CONVICTIONS

Police attempts at questioning Chhotu after his arrest were largely unsuccessful, despite their use of a revolutionary technique involving a rubber chicken and a bone.

Thus far, Chhotu’s only comment has been confirmation of his name – ‘Arf, arf, woof, woof’.

In addition to the alleged assaults, Chhotu is also being interrogated in relation to some unsolved crimes held on file.

These include 5 instances of defocation in a public place and 3 of indecent exposure in a communal play area.

Prosecutors are hopeful that Chhotu will cough up to the lesser crimes as part of a plea bargain.

Despite the prosecution’s optimism, Chhotu’s defence lawyer remains hopeful of an acquittal for his client, despite the dog having been previously sentenced to death for prior misdemeanours.

Should that sentence be handed out again, Chhotu will not be put to sleep by lethal injection as India still employs the electric chair in his jurisdiction.

A more serious account of this story can be found at the BBC.

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