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Have Fun, Make Money, Get Busted - 8 Easy Ways

Sun, Aug 17, 2008

Humor

For some people making money and having fun is what life is all about.

The following 8 methods could possibly guarantee you both, but come with a severe health warning -

If you try any of them be sure to check your ‘picking the soap up in the shower‘ technique -

It’ll come in handing after you get jailed!!!

1. CREATE A PSYCHIC SCAM

One of the best facts about psychic scam artists is the fact that virtually no-one ever asks them to prove their abilities.

If someone asks a question you are unable to answer then you can fake your way out of the predicament by saying that your powers don’t work like that.

You then simply continue babbling about a load of rubbish whilst taking their money from them.

The hot tip for faking psychic readings is to be vague - as soon as you start giving out any useful information you’re gonna get yourself into trouble.

You can see how easy it is to appear to be psychic by watching Derren Brown.

2. MAKE YOUR OWN PYRAMID SCHEME

Pyramid schemes, also known as ‘Ponzis‘ are for suckers.

Only those who create them, or get in early, make any money from them.

The other 99%+ of members lose everything they invest.

Therefore, the key here is to be the founder of your very own pyramid scheme - 15 Ways To Make Pyramid Profits And Get Away With It - and to then profit from your downline packed full of hopeless biz op seekers.

Top tip here is to never actually call your pyramid scheme a pyramid.

Instead, call it multi level marketing - this cunning ploy seems to add an air of legitimacy to many such shady businesses.

3. STEAL SOMEONE’S IDENTITY

If it’s good for the Nigerians then it’s good for you.

If people who can’t write or even spell English can con dozens of people per day then you should have much more success.

Even if only one person in a million falls for your transparently fraudulent emails then business will still be good - you’ll be emailing a million people a day!

What do you need to do?

Simple - choose a popular bank, clone an exact copy of their website and then bulk mail millions of people asking them to update their personal details as part of a security review.

Not only will you be able to empty the bank accounts of anyone who is stupid enough to reply, you may also be able to take their entire identity.

Then the fun can really begin!

4. COPY SOMEONE ELSE’S PRON SITE

This is a ridiculously easy way to make money.

How? you ask -

Firstly, register a website in an obscure country that has no meaningful laws.

Georgia is best right now as the Russians are playing merry hell with their infrastructure, especially their internet access.

Secondly, visit loads of pron sites and copy all their pictures and videos, just like they did when they set their site up.

Lastly, paste all those pics and video clips into your own site and then charge a membership fee to the desperados who arn’t getting any at home.

Even if your content is rubbish no-one will complain because of the subject matter.

Not only that, but you’re offshore anyway.

5. DRESS UP AND BEG

We’ve all seen the beggars who get dropped at stations by their chauffeurs in their flash cars and then sit in the busiest areas with nothing but a beard and an ugly looking dog.

They make money, and lots of it too.

The smart beggar, however, knows the value of culture.

Why wait around all day collecting pennies when there is a simple way to go straight for the dollars?

Put on your suit and pretend to have lost your train ticket.

Approach old ladies as they tend to be the most gullible and will surely give a ‘businessman’ the money he needs to get home.

6. WRITE YOUR OWN ‘MAKE MONEY ONLINE’ EBOOK

This one is so simple, it should be criminal.

Write a book about how to make money online.

Heck, write a 5 page report, that’ll probably be enough.

Actually, don’t even worry about content, just pick 5 compelling titles, that’ll probably suffice.

Create a website with pictures of fast cars, beaches and beautiful women.

Lie and say that the information in your ebook bought you all of those things.

The ‘make money online’ sheep are so dumb they’ll believe it, buy your trash and then blame themselves for not making it work.

They’ll then go looking for new information on how to ‘make money online without actually doing anything’ so be sure to have several other similar sites waiting for them.

7. BEAT A COFFIN TO THE NEXT DEAD BODY

If you’re a woman then getting married to just about anyone is recommended.

Get yourself a few kids and then divorce him for ‘no fault’ before retiring to a comfortable life of alimony and child support.

Men, however, need to be a little more devious.

You need to follow Anna Nicole Smith’s example and marry someone who has an imminent date with God.

That way you won’t need to push her around in that wheelchair for too long before collecting that big inheritance.

8. SELL RUBBISH ON AN ONLINE AUCTION SITE

If you visit online auction sites then you’ll know that people try and sell all sorts of rubbish on them.

If you market your junk right then there’s no reason why you can’t get in on the profits too.

The best buyers to target are the religious nuts as they are quite fanatical and have plenty of cash.

Take any household object and paint the face of Mary on it.

Multiply the cost of the object by 1,000, sit back and relax, watch the fools bid it up to some unholy amount.

CAN YOU THINK OF ANY MORE FUN AND PROFITABLE WAYS OF WORKING YOUR WAY INTO JAIL ???

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10 Comments »

Comment by Casper
2008-08-17 10:19:03

I looked at the first picture then read what you wrote under it. Then I looked at the picture again and thought “OUCH!”.

Comment by Scam
2008-08-17 12:33:01

I’m glad you understood the meaning!

 
 
Comment by At Home Jobs
2008-08-18 00:10:05

These are definitely different methods of making money than you see on any other blog. LOL I thought the ebook one was a normal suggestion until I read it!

Comment by Scam
2008-08-18 08:13:22

Would you agree that most such ebooks are, shall we say, a little substandard?

 
 
Comment by Kim Woodbridge
2008-08-18 00:27:14

I’m currently writing an ebook on how to make money online while begging for trash to sell on ebay from rich men, one of which will hopefully be my next husband.

Comment by Scam
2008-08-18 08:14:21

Great to see you following my advice - you’ll go far in life (what little of it you have left at your age). :D

Comment by Kim Woodbridge
2008-08-18 11:15:58

Well, women usually live longer than men so I’d say you and I have about the same amount of time left. Of course, begging for trash to sell while writing an ebook is exhausting.

(Comments wont nest below this level)
Comment by Scam
2008-08-18 11:30:09

Good point… you look like someone who needs a lot of sleep :D

 
Comment by Pete
2008-09-13 01:48:45

I think Kim looks quite attractive myself.

 
Comment by Scam
2008-09-13 09:37:24

:P

 
 
 
 
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