The Loving Wife Scam
Sat, Jul 19, 2008
I got nailed by this scam last weekend and it still hurts.
GRATUITOUS SEX
Seemingly coming from nowhere, the mysterious lady will approach you, pretending to be your ‘loving wife’, complete with gratuitous sex and your favourite snack.
She will then effortlessly guide the conversation in order to subtly ask if you have a balance on your credit card.
This is where you MUST answer, ‘Yes, it’s completely maxed out dear’, otherwise she will cleverly slip it from your wallet whilst pretending to enjoy fondling your coconuts.
‘IT WAS IN THE SALE’
Later that day, while you rest comfortably on the couch remote in hand, your card will be used to purchase half a dozen ridiculously overpriced ’sale’ items.
This scam is so diabolical that even when you receive a token gift yourself, purchased with your card of course, you will still feel thoroughly used.
At this point the strange woman, posing as your ‘loving wife‘ will then revert back to the far more familiar ‘moody hag’ and will disappear to wherever it she goes when she doesn’t want something.
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That is very funny and so true of all wives.
I don’t know about that… the wife I had never actually qualified as ‘loving’, even when she wanted something
Very clever, I like this one very much as it so reminds me of my wife.
I have a feeling that I’m gonna get a lot of comments like yours!
My wife is a real Jekyll and Hyde type character, loving me when she wants money and ignoring me when she is spending it.
Don’t worry Stuart, it’s a flaw built into all women
I am a loving wife and I have done this many times. If my loving husband knows what I am up to, he is smart enough to enjoy the benefits without comment.
Of course, he scams me right back. For some reason, if I don’t pretend to enjoy fondling his coconuts he can’t seem to muster the energy to fix the dishwasher, the vacuum cleaner, the car, etc.
Ah, the joys of matrimoney, er, matrimony.
ha ha - brilliant.
I guess if you are both ’scamming’ each other then it leads to a balanced relationship, which is probably quite healthy.
I think so. And with 2 kids in the house the only way either of us gets any action is to “scam” each other. Otherwise, who has the time or energy!
I asked loving husband to replace our carpet with wood flooring and his immediate response was “Only if I can take it in trade” which translates into “how long will you play with my coconuts!”
I’ve never had this problem - if i want some ‘action’ I just phone Scametta and tell her to come over.. she’s normally here within 10 minutes
Of course now that you have left me with a question, I need to know the answer…
… just how long did you play with his coconuts for?
P.S.
Do I know you by another name on David’s MK blog?
HA! However long it takes to get the job done!
I have posted on Dave’s blog. Not much. Don’t agree with the whole MK thing and most posters over there are very pro MK, so I don’t say much.
Love this site, though!
Well that’s good, at least he’s getting his money’s worth!
David’s quite happy for you to be less than pro-MK in your comments btw.
Thanks for loving my site though
Another really funny post. How do I keep missing these gems when they first come out?
Perhaps you should subscribe to my RSS feed